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Facing Your Inner Fears. A Numerologist's Perspective.

Updated: Sep 23, 2023


A young spiritual woman, meditating on a cliff, overlooking the ocean below.

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Facing our Inner Fears


I love the idea of living with ease and grace. It's a beautiful affirmation of consciously aligning with the flow of Source energy, and I'm all about that.


But I've also been pondering something that I've heard many times in our community . . . the notion that if something's meant to be, then it'll flow smoothly. If it's yours, it'll find its way to you. You can't miss it. All you have to do is stay in the slipstream and go with the flow.


And if there are any obstacles, blocks, or fears being triggered, then it's probably a sign that you're on the wrong path . . . that you're pushing against the flow of Life. And, in fact, it probably means you need to stop, turn around, and go back.


I can't say I necessarily agree with this perspective.


Blocks, challenges, and fears may indeed indicate a need to reevaluate your direction, yes.


But, they are not necessarily signals from the universe that you're on the wrong path.


Instead, these challenges and fears are, sometimes, the tailor made storms that our Soul hungers for, in order to stretch, to grow, to come into closer alignment with who we truly are. Facing our inner fears usually involves accessing and healing the deepest resources of our own Soul. And this brings us closer to our authentic sense of Self and our Soul's purpose for this lifetime.


For that which most scares you, and you most resist, is likely to be the very thing that you are here to become and achieve. Your passion, life force, and vitality is connected to your fears.


(If you're familiar with numerology, can you hear the Number 1 in this? The Number 1 of our self-awareness, our libidinal life force energy, our passion, and our deepest fears?)


So . . .


Pull up or push through? How we can we tell what is being asked of us when we feel blocked or paralysed with fear?


Personally, as a numerologist and astrologer, I turn to these ancient archetypal languages for their guidance on what is being asked of me. How can I best support my psycho-spiritual growth? How can I consciously serve my Soul's healing process? How can I step into the life I've been born to live?


Numerology and astrology can help us discern how Life is calling us forward.





Past Lives and Soul Retrieval


In exploring past life trauma and how it impacts our present lifetime, from both Buddhist, Shamanic, and Evolutionary Astrology perspectives, it seems our Soul fragments at the time of an intense trauma. And part of our consciousness then remains trapped in that moment, perpetually, eternally experiencing it . . . the intense grief, distress, terror, excruciating pain, or shock is all that exists for that Soul shard. It doesn't realise that we've actually moved forward; that the moment no longer exists. It simply continues to be present in that precise moment.


And so, in this lifetime, whenever we come anywhere near anything that feels even remotely similar to what caused the trauma in that other lifetime, our Soul trauma kicks in to warn us off our chosen path . . . It seems to say, "Stop! Turn back! Don't do this!! OMG. How many times do you have to be told???? FFS. You'll be killed!! Your family and friends will be killed!! Stop it!!!"


Sometimes, our obstacles or our sense of dis-ease and fear are not a matter of our Soul trying to corral us onto a different or "more suitable" path. Sometimes, they stem from the part of our Soul that remembers what happened the previous time we tried to engage this sphere of life. They can stem from a Soul shard that is desperately trying to protect you from again experiencing that trauma.


Suffice to say, when every fibre of your being is telling you to run the other way, it could be much easier to say, "Oh, this isn't flowing with ease and grace. Life seems to be steering me away from this opportunity/desire. I can intuitively feel the discomfort whenever I even think of following this Path. It mustn't be for me," instead of bracing for the Soul healing work that is being demanded of you.


It takes an immense amount of courage and presence - steadiness in the face of the internal thunderstorm - to be still in the eye of the storm; and to brave those spheres of life that are, for reasons unknown, causing us so much distress.


It takes presence to release the fears that are hindering your Soul's evolutionary growth.



A Personal Story - The Dance of 3 and 1


Let me share an example from my own personal lived experience, involving the combination of the Numbers 1 and 3.


Number 1, as we've touched on, is the archetype of self-awareness, fear, and courage. It asks us to confront our fears, head on, and to boldly claim our true, authentic path . . . even if that potentially means being exiled or attacked for it. The Number 1 demands that we step into our deepest fears, because that's how we truly meet ourselves. And it's how courage is forged. Courage is scared into you. I mean, if you're not afraid, it takes no courage, right?


And the Number 3 highlights groups, self-expression, being seen and heard, and public speaking (among many other significations).


So, together in combination, they highlight the intersection of these significations.


In my case, the combination of 3 and 1 in my 4th Pinnacle starkly illuminates my fear (1) of groups (3); of being seen and heard (3); and of public speaking (3); along with my fear (1) of being exiled or attacked (1) for expressing (3) my ideas. This is particularly around sharing my spiritual beliefs, as the Numbers 3 and 1 jointly activate the Intuitive Plane of Expression in my numerology chart.


Perhaps they symbolise a past life experience of being exiled, tortured, excommunicated, or burned at the stake for sharing my spiritual teachings? Perhaps a Soul shard has been trapped in a moment of terror, and has been warning me from another lifetime.


Certainly, being seen and heard as a numerologist and astrologer has taken immense courage.


It's been confronting to speak publicly at various conferences and groups; to write these blog post articles; to have any sort of presence on social media; and to teach these spiritual subjects in group courses. Doing so, has triggered both deep terror and grief within me, many, many times. Apparently, according to my kinesiologist and a number of past life regression experiences, this is my 56th evolution of Soul trying to come to terms with whatever happened in that distant past life experience.


From this perspective, the paralysing terror I've experienced doesn't ask me to stop.


Instead, it means I have work to do.


We have work to do.


And on the other side of that terror, of facing our inner fears, is sheer exhilaration!


And a greater sense of Self, vitality, passion, and pure life force energy than we've ever known. (These are all Number 1 significations, along with the fear.)



My Journey with Teaching Groups


When I decided to start teaching group numerology courses back in 2018, that 3/1 combination was intensely activated.


So much so, I used to have full blown panic attacks after teaching every single class.


Every.

Single.

Class.


I'm not sure if you've ever experienced a panic attack, but they're definitely 1's territory of fear, terror, and panic.


I could've taken the panic attacks as a sign from the Cosmos that I was way off track; that I simply wasn't supposed to be teaching numerology; that this wasn't my path.


I could've taken the panic attacks as I sign to STOP, because offering my courses certainly didn't flow with ease and grace, by any means.


But, as a numerologist, I recognised that 3/1 combination in my numerology chart. I've lived with that combo, my whole life, and I could literally feel the archetypes at play. So, while part of me completely freaked out at the very thought of sharing numerology with a group, I simultaneously recognised the clarion call to face down my fears. To retrieve and re-integrate that part of me that was terrified.


And so, despite the panic attacks, I kept showing up, week, after week, after week.


Panic attack, after panic attack, after panic attack. 😱


Deep breaths.


I stayed the path, because I understood that this is part of the evolutionary work I need to do in this lifetime. And now, five years on, I simply love teaching my group courses! There's no fear. No panic attacks. Just a deep abiding joy (3) and a sense of being truly alive (1)!


Certainly, committing to this path has meant being exiled (1) by some people, including my own father, who told me that he "couldn't morally support" my decision to work as a numerologist and astrologer. And while I have been accused of doing "the devil's work," so far there's been no mob violence, or witch trials! Phew.


And, in fact, I've now taught my signature programme, Know Thyself!, twenty-three times. On top of which, I've taught just as many intermediate and advanced courses, as well. I've come a very long way since that first course, and I'm immensely grateful to my younger self for recognising the numerological symbols in my chart, and for finding the inner strength and courage to be present in the eye of the inner storm, and step into the fear anyway.


Does this mean that my challenging 3/1 combo is now "healed"?


No. Not yet . . . I mean, I've made a LOT of progress with it, for sure. But there are other

elements of this archetypal combination that still activate a great deal of fear within me. I'm working on these, as we speak. Ask me again in another five years, and we'll see where I'm at!


And in the meantime, I invite you to reflect on the old saying,"Whatever obstructs your work, IS your work." Don't shy away from your dreams and your passions, simply because there are obstacles, challenges, and blocks in the way; nor because they trigger deep fears within you.

Young boho woman, dancing and playing tambourine on a beach, with a storm rolling in.

I often envisage my Soul doing a Happy Dance on the other side of the veil, while I struggle and wrestle with Life's Storms and some enormous new learning on this side!

​​

Whatever your personal battle and obstacles are, though, please know that Life is not trying to stop you. It's trying to strengthen you, in precisely the ways you said you wanted to be strengthened in this lifetime. It's trying to release you. It's doing you a favour in gifting these experiences to you, as hard as that may be to read.

I always consider my struggles and pain to be a backhanded compliment from the Divine realms. To me, it feels like they're saying that they haven't given up on me. They haven't left me in a room eating chocolates, saying "Ugh. She can't be taught. We give up." No. The Divine Realms are still bringing me challenges and opportunities to grow, like golden gifts on a silver platter . . . gifts that bring me closer to myself with each and every one I open. They still have faith in my ability to learn, and my capacity to grow.

Life has my back.

And Life has yours, too.


A woman journalling outdoors, in a field.

Some Journal Prompts and Questions on Embracing Life's Challenges


Here are some journal prompts and questions to invite you to pause and reflect more deeply on your relationship with the concepts we've been looking at in this article.


Embracing Transformation:

  • Describe an experience where you felt that a difficult challenge was specifically designed to help you overcome a limitation or fear. How did this experience empower you? Did it result in a significant shift in your perspective or way of being?

  • Reflect on a time when you felt a deep transformation within yourself. What circumstances or events led to this transformation? How did it align with your soul's journey?

  • Reflect on any practices you use to consciously engage with challenges as opportunities for personal and spiritual transformation. How has this mindset influenced your journey?

Lessons from Challenging Experiences:

  • Reflect on a particularly challenging experience you've encountered on your path. Now, considering this experience form a numerological perspective, does it change how you perceive the experience? Can it be reframed as something that brings you into alignment with your Soul's purpose?

  • How do you differentiate between challenges that are part of your growth journey and obstacles that might indicate a need to reevaluate your direction?

  • How have challenges and obstacles taught you to embrace resilience, adaptability, and courage? How do these qualities support your Soul's evolution?


Thank you for journeying with me. I'm so grateful for your company. If you have any queries at all, or if you'd like to share your stories and experiences with me, please reach out. I'd love to hear from you!


Deep blessings for your Path. Thank you for facing your inner fears, doing your work, and reaching for your true life. For as I've often said, we all benefit when we all shine.



Peace

Juliette xo



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