Think about it .... storms bring each of us back to the raw purpose of our incarnation.
So ... How was your recent eclipse season?? I remember commenting to a friend on how surprised I was that it wasn't shaking my life a little more seriously, as it was really hitting my natal chart. Just days later, I was in a serious car accident.
Eclipse Seasons, Uranus transits, and 5 are each famous for bringing sudden, abrupt changes; unpredictable chaos; and disruption to our lives. January, 2020, brought all three of these cosmic forces to my door, simultaneously.
An Eclipse occurred on my Ascendant. Uranus was crossing my "skipped step". And I was in a 5 Personal Year. Combine these with the maturation of my karmic story (see below), and a perfect storm was ready to break in my world. While these energies can be heavy hitters, especially when experienced in combination, I've learned to trust them (along with all the other astrological and numerological archetypes). Heck, there's no point resisting their might and momentum! They're eternal, infinite energies, while we are mere mortals!! As Rilker said in his magnificent poem, 'The Man Watching', these Beings don't want to be bent by us!
The point is not to 'win' some imagined contest against them. Rail against the stars if you have to, but then engage the process with as much awareness and intention as you can muster. Please don't batten down the hatches, and passively wait out your storms! Engage!!! They are custom made for your evolutionary path by the intelligence of Life itself.
As destructive, exciting, or confronting as they may seem, it's best to trust these enormous cosmic portals. Bless them. Trust them. Embrace them. Find yourself being molded and shaped by their strength and power. We may fear Life's storms but, in truth, it would be far worse if they never showed up! Think about it .... They bring each of us back to the raw purpose of our incarnation.
As I have said many times, we live in an ensouled Universe. Nothing has ever been random. Everything we experience is perfect, and loyally serves our highest good. So, trust your storms, no matter which form they take. Trust that Life has your back. And, if possible, remember to thank your storms for the opportunity to grow in personal strength, self-awareness, and maturity.
My Personal Storm:
In my case, I was driving home to Katoomba after a teaching journey up north with my fabulous Armidale crew. My 'storm' took the form of a wombat on the highway, just after midnight on, literally, a stormy night. I think I swerved to miss it? I'm not sure. I have amnesia. Except for a flash memory of the fated wombat, my memory cuts out about 25 mins before the "accident". (I put that word in quotations, because I don't believe in accidents.) My son, who was in the passenger seat, tells me our ute swerved and then rolled two or three times before coming to a stop on its wheels. It's a total write-off, and very confronting to look at, apparently. I've been advised not to look at photos of it yet by those who have seen them. And everyone has commented that they're not sure how we're even alive. That lands deeply within me. What have we been saved for, I wonder? Truly a second blessed chance at life ... and one I don't intend to waste, ungratefully!! My next brief memory, after the wombat, was of being moved into the chopper to be airlifted to Westmead Hospital in Sydney. I'm missing most of the next 24 hours. I do have a clear, 5-second memory of being wheeled into the operating theatre and being prepped for a double surgery. I remember being asked to breathe in the anaesthetic. I've been told the Trauma Team worked on my head (removing gravel from my "gouged" skull, and using 38 staples and 31 stitches to re-piece my scalp together), while the Plastic Surgeons worked on my right hand.
Three holes have been left open on my scalp as there wasn't enough skin left to close them. Yes, that means you can still see my skull in three places, and I may require further surgery. But I'm really hoping they will self-heal?? And fascinatingly, according to the surgeon's discharge notes, the scar on my head is shaped like a Star ... That's cool. I've literally been marked as an Astrologer by Life itself, LOL! As to my hand, my right pinky, ring finger, and middle finger were "degloved" in the accident, which means the skin was torn off them; some of their bones are broken; and there is extensive nerve damage. 35 stitches. A year of intensive hand therapy awaits once they heal. To be honest, I haven't been brave enough to look at my hand yet during the multiple dressing changes, nor at the photos of my head. It's still a bit too confronting, and I fear my fingers may look like Frankenstein fingers with patchwork skin holding them together. Random fears arise.
I am also healing from three forms of vertigo simultaneously (I have no balance at all); double vision; extensive bruising; nerve damage; torn shoulders; and post-concussive symptoms - like an inability to concentrate for extended periods; a frustrating tendency to forget words; big emotions; and a weird hyper-sensitivity to the physical world. My senses of sound and smell are extremely high, at the moment! At this point, I'm seriously grateful for my amnesia. I don't want to constantly revisit how my body sustained all these injuries. My next memory after the operating theatre was of my partner and my son by my bedside in the hospital, bless them. That memory only lasts a few seconds. The next day, I became aware that my beautiful Mum had flown to Sydney to be by my side, too.
I'm so grateful for their loving support and unrelenting faith that it is all going to be okay ... and for their gentle patience and constant, attentive care. Now that I am out of hospital, I am reliant on them for nearly everything. There are so many things I can't do for myself, from opening jars, to cooking, to showering. You know ... everything that requires hands and balance, which is almost everything. I'm also reliant on the wonderful community nurses who come every second day to change the dressings on my hand and head. Their home visits will be a part of life for the next few months, yet.
A Deeper Purpose:
When storms like this unfold in our lives, it's natural to wonder if there is a higher purpose behind them, or if Life is simply filled with meaningless, random chaos? As I've made abundantly clear, I believe a deeper, cosmic intelligence is always in play. Importantly, I believe that the same event can mean different things to every single person who is somehow caught up in it. But how do we understand what Life is asking of us??
Personally, I look to the archetypal languages of Astrology, Numerology, Colour, and Mythology to help me fathom what is unfolding and why . . . for myself and for others. I would encourage all of us to actively participate in the conversation that Life is inviting us into.
Looking at my own charts, I can clearly see how this "accident" has served to activate my 29/11/2 Birth Path. It's my 48th birthday tomorrow (17 February). 48 is a highly significant (critical) age for all of us. According to Vedic Astrology, it's when our South Node (our karmic story) matures. I've been wondering what it would bring to my door, for years. Now that it has finally arrived, I can see how 'perfect' it is for my 29/11/2 Path. I stand in awe.
A year of deepening into my relationships (2) now beckons me forward. My armoured, independent 1s are being thrust into a situation that forces me to wholeheartedly trust and depend on others to care for me without strings attached (2). It's a steep and frightening learning curve for me ... and that's the point, right?? 2s are learning the full complexity of personal intimacy and vulnerability with another ... how to balance Self and Other. How to trust. We're learning to find a point of balance between parasitic dependency & door-mattery (it's a word!) on one hand, and fiercely isolating anti-dependency on the other.
Being a primary lesson in my chart, I've swung from one end of this continuum to the other and back again, many times in my life (as we all do with our core numbers). But I am yet to find that point of balance and strength. In recent years, I've found myself at the anti-dependent end of the continuum, guarding against the pain and loss of trust in former relationships. Those of us at this end of the continuum are learning to remove the armour that we've built around our hearts for protection. We're learning to be receptive to the experience of kindness, gentleness, and unconditional, abundant love. (Gulp.) We're learning to trust another enough to surrender to them in relationship; to allow the experience of true inter-dependence. If we resist this process, choosing to isolate ourselves (even in the midst of a marriage or other relationships), then Life will find a way to force our hand so that we HAVE to engage 2's wisdom.
And so, here I am ... forced into an experience of dependence and vulnerability; surrendering more completely to my relationships, and learning to trust. With the extent of my injuries, Life has literally left no other choice available to me. My double 1s' fierce self-protection and guarded independence is not a viable option at the moment. As a consequence, I'm finally learning that I am safe with another, and I am unconditionally loved.
Well played, Life. Thank you for this opportunity to fulfil my chosen Birth Path.
My Son's Charts:
For my son, though, a different birth chart is in play, and so he experienced the "accident" in a completely different way.
Although he was in the car with me, his guardian angels physically protected him so completely that he walked away from the accident with barely even a scratch or a bruise!!!!!!!
It seems astonishing, until we consider our charts.
He is a Scorpio, walking a 7 Birth Path. That's completely different to my Aquarian, 29/11/2 experience. In his lifetime, my son will be asked to understand death and dying; and various forms of healing. (His personal experiences with healing are already extraordinary, despite his young years!) He'll also learn to connect with others in a sublimely 'real' & intense way. And, significantly, he'll be asked to swim in the deepest, raw undercurrents of the human psyche and emotions. So, he has a complete memory of that fated night's events, including memories of my head coming to rest on his chest, when our car finally stopped flipping and rolling. He found himself soaked in my blood. (Head wounds bleed!) He held his shirt to my head to stem the flow of blood; figured out how to get help; and prayed for me. He supported me in my distress and confusion, patiently answering my many bewildered questions as I came in and out of consciousness. He heard my "dying declarations," and held me through my agonising screams of pain. He protected me until the ambos arrived and their medicine knocked me out again. That is a pretty intense experience for anyone, let alone a teenager . . . but it is classic Scorpion and 7 territory, and he navigated it brilliantly. Now, he finds himself struggling to connect with his friends at any depth about the accident. Instead, he finds most of them frustratingly incapable of being present with such an intense experience. 7. In his own time, he will need to process this event, himself. 7. While I would prefer my son didn't have to go through this, it is a tailor-made experience for him, for his chart. And thank goodness he was there. His presence was like my guardian angel. Bless his intense Scorpio Sun; his compassionate Neptune Moon conjunction; his staunch, capable Capricorn South Node; his powerful Mars . . . and our strong karmic connection. This is how the one event can unfold differently yet perfectly for each of us. And, honestly? The whole thing feels fated. He wasn't even meant to be there. As I was saying goodbye to him earlier that day in Lismore, I spontaneously said, "Hey, why don't you come with me for a week or so??" At first, he declined . . . but then, very uncharacteristically for him, he spontaneously said, "I guess I could??" Fateful words. The scene was set. Events unfolded perfectly from there. And as dramatic and far-reaching as this experience is, we're both being served by it. Some things are just meant to be.
Grateful. Alive. Blessed.
How am I?? I'm feeling grateful, alive, blessed. The main word running through my mind since the accident is, "Thank you."
I feel tremendously grateful... to Life and the celestial realms.
To my son and those who came to my immediate aid at the site of the accident.
To the pilot and paramedics who airlifted me to Westmead Hospital from Mudgee.
To the surgeons, nurses, and physios for their skills and experience.
To my beautiful partner (who patiently and unequivocally assures me that this is "our journey, our path, our story") for his unflinching, all-encompassing, loving support. (Can you hear the 2 energy in his statement??)
To my amazing family (who haven't left my side since the accident - my son even slept on the chairs next to me at the hospital, each and every night), for their loving kindness, unwavering gentleness, and patient faith that all will be well.
To my beautiful friends and students for their love and all of their distance healing vibes. Thank you all for sharing this exquisite journey called Life with me . . . I implicitly trust my story, whatever it brings.
My hope is that we will all learn to trust the greater wisdom at play in our lives.
Trust Your Story.