Updated: Jan 4
Why are old friends and lovers reaching out to us? What do they want, now??
Part I of this series of articles on Venus Retrograde can be found here.
Part III can be found here.
I've recently had quite a few people reach out in confusion, excitement, or distress, regarding old flames who have "risen from the dead," unexpectedly. Some of these blasts from the past seem to threaten our newly ordered world with old poisons and wounds. And yet others want to sweep us off our feet and fly us to the Maldives . . . well, when the world re-opens after this pandemic!
What on Earth is going on?
Why can't our past just stay in the past??
Let's take a look . . .
As part of Venus' Retrograde cycle, old relationships, old friendships, old beaus, old dynamics, and old relational traumas and issues can resurface. (Doesn't that sound fun to look forward to?? Not.)
Sometimes, you simply find out something about a former lover or friend.
Like, "Wow, they're famous now!"
Or "Oh, they've died!"
Or maybe your ex calls and wants to dredge up old stuff with you.
Or perhaps you accidentally run into them in the street after 15 years, and the old chemistry is running hot!
So, here's the question: Should we recycle old lovers?
This particular phenomenon of Venus' retrograde cycle will be most prevalent during Her actual retrograde phase, from 19 December, 2021 to 30 January, 2022 . . . but for many of us, this has already begun.
First of all, please know that reconnecting with a former friend, partner, or beau during Venus Retrograde is not necessarily a sign that you were "fated to be together, after all." I mean, it could be. Venus does bring the opportunity to reconnect with those we've lost touch with over the years, yes . . . particularly those we have unfinished business with. Certainly, my partner and I reconnected after nearly 30 years during a Venus Retrograde cycle. (Thank you, Venus!)
But before making any life-altering decisions about these old flames and friends, I'd suggest waiting until Venus Retrograde is completely over to see what unfolds.
Often, when we reconnect with people during this cycle, there is something that needs to be revisited so that it can be remembered, acknowledged, healed, integrated, and/or released.
If unresolved traumas, dynamics, and issues from past relationships have been clogging our energetic system, then Venus is inviting us to clear this gunk out, so that we can truly show up in our relationships, now.
Perhaps there is a strong urge to confront a former partner so that we can finally understand what the hell happened and let stuff go. Or perhaps old partners want to dredge old stuff up with us? As the old U2 song puts it, "Have you come looking for forgiveness? Have you come to raise the dead? Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?"
We can find ourselves thinking, "OMG. Why are you bringing up this old crap?? Let it go! Move on, already!"
But by revisiting former relationships and tidying up any messy loose ends, Venus is giving us the opportunity to transform our relational energies and patterns. We have a real opportunity to heal unresolved wounds; all that stuff we've buried and tried not to look at over the years.
And perhaps then we'll be able to open our hearts to greater levels of trust, intimacy, and warmth with another . . . to be fully present in our relationships.
Wouldn't that be an amazing blessing??
This is what Venus is offering us.
(Note: Venus usually scoots past Pluto in a week or so. But due to Her retrograde cycle, She will be dancing with Pluto for nearly 4 months! That's a long time to have Pluto's transformational energy involved in our relationships. And with Pluto involved, we may find ourselves entangled in rather intense emotional involvements over the coming months. Just a heads up . . .)
Note: It's not just old lovers
While we could be re-engaging old lovers and spouses, please note that Venus is NOT limited to relationships of a romantic variety.
We could also be revisiting memories of our BFF who betrayed us ten years ago.
Or the person who horrendously bullied us for years at high school, over twenty-five years ago. Perhaps their photo somehow floats through our Facebook feed, plunging us back into that emotional turmoil? And we suddenly realise just how deeply we are *still* impacted by that experience . . . and how profoundly it has impeded our ability to show up in the world, and to connect with others, ever since.
I am reminded of Marianne Williamson's quote, "When we ask to be healed, all our unhealed places are forced to the surface."
During Venus Retrograde, it's our relational wounds that are surfaced for healing.
So, if you feel the need to clear something up, or if a former friend or partner is trying to clear something up with you, this is what is going on. Best to engage the issues being raised head on and resolve them, once and for all.
Please be kind and patient with yourself and others while you muster the courage and vulnerability to do this work.
We can engage it privately through therapy, reflection, journaling, and ritual, or by actively engaging this person from our past. Alternatively, we can choose (for whatever reason) to keep our wounds buried and continue to endure them for another 18 months until Venus' next retrograde cycle begins. It is up to us, as always.
I hope this article helps . . .
Thank you for journeying with me. I'm so grateful for your company. As always, I'd love to receive your comments, insights, and stories. Please feel free to reach out! And feel free to share this article with anyone you feel may benefit from it.
Have a great week, beautiful people.
Remember: We all benefit when we all shine!
Peace and Blessings
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